Mario Kraut.

My eldest daughter recently purchased Mario Kart for the Wii, having loved it on other platforms (the DS being the previous version she played to death).  So of course, it would be rude of me not to participate in a few evening games...who is she going to play otherwise?  Her mother loves video games (are they still referred to as that?) as much as she loves selotaping offal to under her eyelids.  Me though...well, the Wii was intended for my daughter as a present but it seems such a waste sat there all forlornly come the evening when she is in bed.  Zelda and Super Mario Galaxy are of course sublime (though I, nay 'we' could do with completing them soon enough).  

Mario Kart Wii (although hardly a major jump, if any, up from previous incarnations it is nevertheless, a flippin good journey to the centre of fun...

Last night I managed to sort the wi-fi out (some crazy looking new, superfast model  router sat flashing it's face off in the corner of the living room) and jump onto the 'worldwidewii' so as to race against all types from all places dotted around the globe.  So here I was, Paulo, waving on the virtual globe as Hans99 from Germany, Elsie from the UK (I imagined her to be a 'silver surfer' from Suffolk), DAZX from Korea, TonyTony from the United States (such as potential prodigy his parents named him twice), Kiki (Dee?) also from the States and a few other wordless names grinning their cheese boxes off at me from the consoles display forum (my telly).

With a good few weeks practice under my belt and with some pretty swift moves, I felt I could have these races in the bag before I knew it...how bleeding wrong I was.

To be frank, I was shafted rather unceremoniously by these onliners.  I came last in all but one...and I reckon that was probably due to a loose connection on the end of one of the participants.  Am I missing something here?  I had what I thought was one or two tricks up my sleeve (like those cheeky speed boosts) but I was pretty much trundling along on my own at the back whilst the others (possibly arrogant little sh...eight years olds with ill manners and a lack of respect for other generation gamers) were probably downloading ultra cheat codes onto their wireless LCD pets.

Just before I called it quits and did something worthwhile with my evening (like watch another episode of the Wire) I could see that my 'driving techniques' were getting a little more savvy.  A few more attempts (and a quick session googling cheats/tips) I reckon I'll have these upstarts by the scruff of their Nintendnecks.